I'm audhd also and the truly disabling part of my neurotype is the fact that I can do things and focus, I just can't choose when and where and what my focus is on.
I'm Audhd, 50, and my experience mirrors yours, although I can fall asleep earlier, but it's a die throw whether I wake around 3am or sleep fully until 7am.
The worst aspect is that I seem to procrastinate fun things now - like gaming, or making music.
Hope you can find something to help you recharge :)
I was diagnosed with aspergers just as this happened - basically new information came out showing he'd sent the higher support need autistic kids off for experimentation so they'd leave him alone with his lower support needs autistic kids.
A lot of my autistic issues are caused by society because they are mostly sensory - bright lights, random noise, synthetic smells.
The social model of disability doesn't cover all my symptoms and issues though, I am very much disabled. Pre diagnosis and medication my rejection sensitive dysphoria would cause me to perceive sleights and fly off the handle very easily.
5000 years ago I would have had a rock to the head.
I too have tried many things over the years and the only thing that truly works for me and my adhd (diagnosed) brain are post it notes and calendar alarms, unless of course I forget and accidentally put my phone on DND where it can stay for many days.
I will delete a ticket if it has a full thread copied in and "see below" - I don't have time to work out what you want or need, make an effort and ask me / tell me what you need, and be ambiguous about it.
