As someone with ADHD I was once prescribed the lowest dose of adderall (5 mg?) and I found it was so much like being high it genuinely scared me
I was working from home and the second it kicked in I started getting literal chills down my spine.
I ended up messaging a bunch of people on Facebook I haven’t talked to in years but felt a sudden affinity and empathy for.
I got distracted by a part of my apartment that I hadn’t cleaned in a while and missed a meeting because I ended up cleaning the whole place, including weird things like dusting the sides of books.
When I finally got to coding, it was like I was in the matrix. Hyper focused (and fwiw getting a lot done) but in a weird euphoric high feeling way.
I guess what I’m asking is is that how everyone feels the first time they take it?
And how long does it take to just feel normal on it, but like able to focus?
I want to try it again, because I need help focusing and know I can do better, but I’m genuinely afraid of the person I was on that stuff.
I had some initial freakout when some bad patterns started reemerging. It took time to learn how to accept & adapt to the changed mindset.
I eventually learned to redirect myself - which Adderall enabled me to do. The first step was qualifying my own good and bad behaviors.
It took time to deepen the reward association with beneficial behaviors. That helped me redirect away from counterproductive behaviors - not just revived behaviors but also the persistent ones. Making progress on those was huge.
During this process, the messy, euphoric edges smoothed themselves out. I never had to address it directly.
About 6 months in I came to the conclusion that I really would have benefited from a therapeutic guide, someone who was familiar with this specific experience. I'm not sure there is anyone like that out there.
Very similar experience with Dexedrine here, but that wore off after a week or so. I would indiscriminately DO things, like a ride in lawn mower ghost riding into an overgrown field with a full tank of gas. Was I productive? In a sense. Was I effective? Not as much.
I use it occasionally still but with no euphoric, overwhelming empathy or boundless energy to mow the metaphorical fields. It helps me push through brain fog when things just need to be done.
I haven’t managed to get past the tooth grinding. I barely feel that I’m on it now, but every single time... I grind my teeth. Even if I feel perfectly relaxed otherwise.
This is very normal for first time usage. It's described as euphoria. I believe it goes away with sustained use for most people. It did for me, and I was sort of sad that it did - it was the happiest months of my life. Even now after not having used adderall for years I still don't get that initial euphoria feeling when I randomly take one again.
I used Adderall everyday for a year, and I would generally recommend people stay away from it if they can unless you have extreme ADD/ADHD. I know that a lot of people are saying that it changed their lives and in fact, it helped me to understand how far I could push my mind and body to its productivity limits, which helps me be productive today. However, as mentioned in some of the other comments, it makes you angry and I have lost many friends and closed many doors socially. I also would not say that I was actually more purposeful in my daily activities. Meaning, I may have been able to produce more mental and physical output but like you mention, I would fixate on lots of unnecessary things that ultimately put me behind in what I wanted to accomplish over the course of a year or even who I wanted to be as a person.
I was working from home and the second it kicked in I started getting literal chills down my spine.
I ended up messaging a bunch of people on Facebook I haven’t talked to in years but felt a sudden affinity and empathy for.
I got distracted by a part of my apartment that I hadn’t cleaned in a while and missed a meeting because I ended up cleaning the whole place, including weird things like dusting the sides of books.
When I finally got to coding, it was like I was in the matrix. Hyper focused (and fwiw getting a lot done) but in a weird euphoric high feeling way.
I guess what I’m asking is is that how everyone feels the first time they take it?
And how long does it take to just feel normal on it, but like able to focus?
I want to try it again, because I need help focusing and know I can do better, but I’m genuinely afraid of the person I was on that stuff.