Wow, I'm reading this very differently. I don't know why there has to be emotional violence erupting. Handling something that's fundamentally changed at the core of a relationship and at the core of one's identity will bring strong emotions but it doesn't have to be violent. It can also be handled with all the best qualities we all have like patience, curiosity, support, trust. Strong relationships can grow stronger after being tested.

A kid can handle a gay parent. A kid can handle a divorce. It's not some apocaplypse.

This, look at the stats on how kids fare after these events compared to the death of a parent. Lies have consequences.