The point that you seem to be missing is that these are projects open to the public: if the person isn't espousing these ideas in the space in question, you're just as intolerant as they are to try and use the color of authority (a code of conduct, etc.) to bar them from those spaces.

"Treat with respect" is a dog whistle - easily coopted for whatever nefarious reason.

"If you do not agree with me, you will not participate in any space where I can drum up enough sympathy (headache) to have you excluded from."